The Mona Lisa Experiment

Over the last year, both on my own, and as a nutrition coach, I have stared at a thousand photographs of people transforming themselves. What amazes me is how EVERYONE, and I mean EVERYONE has the same kind of hang ups. We all have blinders, over-scrutiny, and inability to see the things that others do in ourselves. From the ‘perfect’ Instagram model, to the quiet reclusive guy who hides in the corner of the gym. We see things in ourselves that simply do not exist to the extremes we think.

I don’t know who needs this right now. But To help you understand why you don’t see the person in the mirror others do, this is what I call the “Mona Lisa Experiment”

Leonardo da Vinci, Public domain, via Wikimedia Commons

This is the Mona Lisa.

There is debate, but most people consider it one of,

if not, the most

beautiful painting of all time.

But what happens.

What happens if you stare at it.

I don't mean for a moment.

I mean, really look.

What happens if you stare at it

for 10 minutes.

for 20

for an hour.

Imagine a day.

A lifetime of looking at this painting everyday.

Really look at it.

At first, it is lovely.

At first you love the smile,

you probably agree (or believe what others have said.)

It is beautiful.

But as you look closer you will begin to notice

the cracks in the paint

flaws in the figure

brushstrokes

The yellowed paint looking worse for wear

How dark it has become over time.

What happens when i point out the flaws?

The strangeness of the jawline

How her arms seem small for her head

The ill fit of her clothes

The thinness of her hair at her neck?

Do you see more flaws?

What happens when I ask you

What is wrong with this?

(instead of "What is beautiful about this?)

Do you focus on finding the things you don't love?

What changes in how you look at it?

Add in some “expert opinions” from outside sources.

This painting is dated.

Over-rated.

Other painting are far superior and deserve as much focus.

There is nothing special here.

Some people even hate the Mona Lisa.

Stare at it for hours. Days

Scrutinize. Focus.

Take on the opinions of others.

Focus on the flaws.

Ignore everything else

Do you still see any beauty in it?

It is strange isn't it?

How your perception begins to change.

Like you have become blind to the beauty you originally saw.

There it is.

There are the blinders.

When you stare at yourself in a mirror

and reflect on all the things that you think are wrong

Your blinders on from years of comparison and scrutiny.

But here is the thing.

One thing doesn't change.

In the end. This is still the Mona Lisa.

It stands alone in it’s stunning originality.

It is unique

It is beautiful.

A lifetime of focus on the flaws doesn’t change that.

You just need to take off your blinders.

You are the Mona Lisa.

Wrapping it up right | Reflections on my 2020

This week I thought I would share my 10 lessons learned from 2020. Lets get this straight. I was lucky. These lock downs were a huge benefit for me, as I was able to avoid travel, stay home, and focus on my health and career. Adversity turned in to opportunity.

1. Time builds habit

   Three months of doing something over and over, and I START to build a habit. Six months, and I will feel a bit lost if I don’t do it. A year, and doing anything but will feel like a disruption in routine. This really became evident to me this year. The first month, that journey down the steps to the gym felt like something I ‘had’ to do. Now it feels like the focus of my day.

   Habits take time to build. ALOT of time. But once you lock them in, it is almost impossible to stop you.

2. Injury Happens

   I did mobility and stretching routines almost every night for a year to avoid injury. I ate right, tried to pull back when I felt strain. Was open about every twinge or tweak with my coach. I still injured myself.

   In fact, at this level of activity, you pretty much just bounce from minor injury to minor injury. I have learned to constantly monitor myself, modify my workouts so that intensity is never low, and push through it.

   Coach Sam at Between the Bumpers used to say “Motion is lotion” and I truly understand that now. Injuries are made worse if you just stop and do nothing. At this level (and my age) you have to deal with the fact you will feel pain. If I let it stop me, I will be back to being stuck on the couch in no time. Another one of Sam’s gems was “Don’t be a hero, be consistent.” You can’t be consistent if you are broken. More on this later.

3. Teams Work

   Social support is key, I have said it before. We created a lot of chat rooms during this down time. I had an awesome group of like minded fitness fanatics to talk to. We cheered each other on when we reached goals, shared recipes for healthy meals, helped each other out when we hit struggles.

   Support is always available if you look for it. My little tribe of texters helped get me through this.

4. Alcohol is Poison

   Originally, I thought I would take a whole year off from drinking. My perspective changed on this after I hit my weight goals. That comes down to one of my other lessons.

   What I did learn was how bad, even a little bit of booze, was on my system. When you eat for performance, you learn really quickly what makes you feel good, and what makes you feel awful. Combined with constant monitoring from a bunch of different devices, i was really able to see what alcohol does to my body.

   Check this out…
   
   

Whoop is a pretty cool little tool that monitors recovery. These screenshots were taken during the Christmas holidays, when I took three days off from eating perfectly, and allowed myself more than a couple of drinks. Most days I am sitting in the green. 3-4 drinks close to bed time completely mess with my body.

I used to drink 4-6 drinks every day. It is no wonder I always felt a bit draggy and sick. It was literally destroying my sleep, my recovery and my ability to do stuff. For peak performance every day, I cannot drink! Simple.

5. Accountability is Key

It took me a bit to get this, but having someone check in on you regularly is a game changer. I had my coach Elsie, and my friend Emily. They had my back.

Em was doing her own journey through all this, and was awesome. We pushed each other, checked in to talk about how we were doing pretty much weekly, and pushed each other to keep trucking when things got hard. This went beyond fitness, and reached in to our careers, health, food, and family. If anyone wants real progress, get yourself a friend that you check in with all the time, who is going through what you are.

Coaches and accountability partners LITERALLY having my back as Summer and Elsie run with me for the final miles of a marathon in a scorching heat wave…. Couldn’t have done it without these two badasses.

Coaches are awesome. I can’t say enough about how much time and effort Elsie put in to this project. More on that in a bit. But if you want an easy way to get someone to be accountable to, pay a good coach.

6. 80/20 is the Key to “sane” Success

This was a cool lesson that I learned really late in the game. But it came at the perfect time. Just as my motivation began to falter. You don’t have to follow every diet PERFECTLY to succeed. In fact, just getting an A- is good enough. Follow your plan 80% of the time, and you will do awesome.

This tidbit came from Coach Arden at Between the Bumpers during our nutrition challenge. She challenged me to stop trying to follow my restrictions 100% of the time and learn moderation. In other words, I needed to learn to live a normal life, while still following my program. Why?

You see, diets are not sustainable. Diets are a stressor, to your mental and physical health. There is a lot of wonderful things in this world. Like Brie, Cinnamon Buns, and Port. If I deny myself these things for too long, I eventually either have a “cheat” day that goes off the rails, or fail all together and end up binge eating. If I allow myself controlled freedoms, I stay happy, healthy and on track.

Eating amazing food every week and still staying fit and loosing weight. 80/20 means burgers and fries on friday

However, if you are perfect 80% of the time, you will get results. Awesome results. You will still get the things you love, but in proper moderation.

I spent most of my adult life either ‘on’ or ‘off’. Either living in a world of massive restriction in order to try and get thin, or binging my way to 250lbs , because I was ‘off’ my diet, and eating everything I missed..often in preparation for the next diet.

7. Walk On

Walking is huge. It is restorative, as the act of moving gets that “motion is lotion” thing working, and it is really the key to weight loss. Walking for 45 minutes to an hour every day is the secret weapon that everyone seems to forget about. Here is the simple math

On a day that I run a 1/2 Marathon, I burn about 3500 Calories. I burn just over 2000 cals just running, and then my average day burns an extra 1500 or so. (Thats fitbit math, so not hyper accurate but its a good metric)

On a day I do my normal workout (go to the gym, work out in our basement) including the 5k I generally run every day but my rest day, I burn about 2500 Cals in a day.

On a day I do my average workout, AND walk for 45 minutes… I burn 3000+ calories. I generally feel great these days, and my body feels less stressed than days I do my average workout alone… bonus… my dog is happier because he gets to go for walks too.

Non exercise thermogenisis activity as my coach calls it. You move more, you burn more. That 10000 steps each day is a great baseline and makes a bigger difference than everything else.

You want to burn more, easily? Walk, every day… even if it is just for 15-30 minutes, it makes a massive difference in your overall health.

8. Recovery not Output

Coaches in the gym will go on about this all the time, and most of us meatheads don’t listen. With all the injuries I have had in the last few years, I thought maybe listening to my coach for once, and focusing on recovery over gains might be the way to go.

In fact, this became the foundation for #projectthor. Every day I put my focus and effort in to making sure I can achieve my goals tomorrow. This has kinda become a life philosophy. What I mean here is, I do absolutely everything I can to make sure that my body is healing well. This means that I

• Do mobility work every day (June and I do a 20 minute set of stretches courtesy of our friends at Primal Mobility)

• Eat for performance. Focus on getting the nutrients I need and calories I need

• Avoid alcohol.. I talked about this already

• Modify my workouts intelligently. If it hurts, or is gonna hurt me, I either go lighter, or shave reps off the movement. I can’t work out if I am injured

• Follow the program…

It isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Consistency means powering through the hard days.

9. Follow the Program

Putting all your trust in to one person is super hard. I am a know it all to start with, and have often been told I am terrible at listening. Putting all your faith in to a coach to guide you for a year or more of your life is even harder.

But I did, and the results showed for themselves. I think so many people fail at these things because they cheat themselves and their coaches. They skip a few days here and there, thinking it is too much, or don’t communicate themselves when something is not right. I learned to stop fighting my coach, trying to push myself faster and harder than prescribed, and trust the program

The result of sticking to it. Follow the plan and change becomes permanent.

Honestly… I am sure this comes down to having the right coach for you, and that relationship takes time. But when you do, don’t cheat yourself or your coach. Follow the program, trust the schedule, do what you are told. Amazing things happen when you trust an expert.

So shoutout to my coach. Elsie Jahn was the ‘right’ coach for me. We are an awesome team. You can find her at Rat Pack Performance. Give her a visit.

10. The End is the Beginning

I really want to tell you that after one year I achieved all my goals. I want to tell you that I now have a six pack, can run a sub 20 minute 5k, am ready for a modelling career at 7% body fat, and can bench press 200 lbs…

I am not there yet… No. i didn’t fail. I am just on my way. The journey is not over… in fact. It never will be.

Facing mortality taught me one thing. It is time to grow up and take my health and happiness seriously. (bonus is, the better my health, the happier I am). What is really cool is this. I did something 100% selfish, self centred, and ego driven. I disrupted my life, and a lot of other lives around me to make my life focus my health.

Instead of it negatively impacting those around me, it has done the opposite. It has helped me grow as a person, become a better person, I have made new amazing friends, I have helped others find the road to their health, and finally, because I am no longer depressed, drunk and unhappy, the people closest to me are positively affected.

We have only just begun!

These shorts were a bit tight when I started this last year… crazy eh?

Find your Tribe | Social Support for Fitness

Nothing in this life can ever happen without support.

This week I wanted to really focus down on the key to all my success this last year. Motivation is not a limitless resource, even if your motivation is HUGE! I have been asked a lot lately “How do you do it? How do you stay motivated and on track?” Well. Here it is.

Beginning the Journey

The Time Was Right

After a million failures to launch, I learned one thing this year that was the key to ACTUALLY getting started in fitness. The time was right. You need to be in the right mindset. I looked in the mirror and I actually wanted to change. It was the first time my inner monologue wasn’t just, “Tomorrow I need to change” and it became; “I need to stop and change this now”. We all have those key moments of change. The key was, for once, I captured that lightning in a bottle and made it happen.

Motivation is not endless

It has taken a lifetime for my slow brain to understand this simple concept. I am motivated now, but I might not be motivated tomorrow. Motivation is like a fluid in a bucket. You can draw from that bucket, but if you never refill it, it will eventually empty and you will be stuck scraping the bottom. You need to manage motivation like any other limited resource. Stock it up when you can, draw from it like it is precious. I needed to learn how to fill the bucket back up! That’s where I was failing.

How to stay motivated

Social support is the key to my success. People help keep your bucket full. There are pros and cons for involving other people in your journey. The good news is that the Pros GREATLY outweigh the cons

Finding your Tribe

I got super lucky, I already had a huge amount of support in my close family and friends. My partner June is a huge proponent of my journey, an amazing cheerleader, and is the first one to remind me that it is time for my protein shake, or that I need to get out of bed and get my warm up done. She does my mobility routine with me every night, and together we fight through the hard times to stay on track

Add in a huge collection of friends who cheer me on daily, and I get a ton of easy to access social support. This was calculated, and I made sure I had those people early on. Here is how I did it. Feel free to steal it to build your own tribe.

Social Media

This works for me, I don’t know if it will work for you, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying. Announce your intentions on your social media of choice. Announce your goals and let the world know you are trying to change. Post regular updates. At first it may seem silly, later it may seem like bragging. But there is a reason for it. We will get to that in a sec. Lets look at the bad side of what I did.

There are some cons to this. You get a few people telling you things like:

“You are beautiful the way you are! Don’t change”
”You are getting so skinny! Be careful!”

This is the pitfall. Keep in mind one thing, they think they are being helpful. Often these comments will feel cruel, or counter to your goals. When I get these they often make me question if I really needed to get this deep in to fitness? Am I going too far?? It is super important to push these thoughts aside and not let them bring you down or slow your progress. There is nothing here that fills the bucket. It comes from a place of love, and in some cases perhaps I need to be reminded to continue with caution… but these are also SUPER rare. In most cases, instead of being upset by them, let them remind you that they come from a good place, and don’t let them affect you

MOST of your friends and family will say things like “Hell yeah! I am so proud of you!”, “GO WILL!!” and other things. It seems simple, but just those statements of encouragement trickle motivation back in the bucket. This is simple and pure motivation.

I focus on the cheering squad, and the accountability social media can bring. If your goal is to lose 70 pounds and you are public, it is kinda amazing how people will cheer you on. Cheering fills the bucket! Each little bit is something you didn’t have yesterday.

The side benefit is accountability. People who you are accountable to can keep you on track. Lot’s of people knowing about your goals means a LOT of people you are accountable to.

The WOD squad

I found an incredible group of likeminded people at the gym. Before the pandemic, we would schedule our workouts around each others schedule, carpool, and make sure we busted each others balls if one of us didn’t show up. As lockdowns happened, we continued cheering each other on in messenger groups, posting our accomplishments, and giving each other tips and advice as we ran in to issues. My squad has become an extended group of tight knit friends that work together to make sure that everyone has the encouragement they need to succeed, and I couldn’t do it without them.

Home

I will re-state it, I couldn’t have done any of this without the support of my partner. Without support at home, I just don’t think there is any way to succeed. If anyone is reading this and you don’t have that, it is time to sit down with your family, or significant other and have an open conversation about reaching your goals together.

June has given up a lot to help me, she doesn’t drink on weeknights, so that I am not tempted. Helps focus on scheduling healthy meals (it helps that I do the cooking around here) and hits the gym herself!

She is my first and biggest cheerleader, and is the first one to make sure I don’t go too far. When I am flagging, she pushes me to get back at it, and I do the same for her. I can’t thank her enough.

Coaches

There is one other awesome, and easy to find, support ANYONE can get. A coach.

I used to think that hiring a personal trainer was completely out of reach. I was at the gym one day and thought… can’t hurt to ask… and it turned out the price of personal training really wasn’t that bad. I used to spend more at the LCBO per month. I kept in mind it was an investment in my lifespan and health and dove in. I decided to give it a try for a month to see if it was worth it.

That month, in just a few short days of focused personal training, my coach put my nutrition on point, I lost 10 pounds within that time. I was able to climb a rope, improve on every OLY lift, and every aspect of my strength and ability improved by a massive margin over just going to group classes. It was worth every penny. I was sold, and now personal training is a huge part of my journey.

It is really important to note, choosing a coach is like choosing a long term friend or partner. I got really lucky that my coach and I have become friends, and communicate constantly. I am accountable to them, and they keep pushing me daily to improve. What I am saying is, choose your coach wisely. Like any person in your life, some will be a good fit, others will not. Take your time in this choice. If you like a coaches style in class, and if you get along with them at the gym, there is a good chance they will also make a great personal trainer.

The side benefit… you get the ultimate accountability partner!!

Accountability Partner

My definition of an accountability partner is someone specifically chosen to be your go-to person for your goals. Someone you can be open with about your wins and fails. I found it best that this person is not my spouse, as sometimes they can be the problem, and you need someone to talk that hurdle through with. (Sorry June..)

My friend Emily took me on as an accountability partner early on. We check in with each other weekly, and see how each other are doing on our goals. We cheer each others success, and badger each other if we are falling behind. Em has been a lifesaver in those hard times. Add in my group accountability from social media, accountability to my coach, backed up by the dollars spent on fees, and my WOD squad and I am now accountable to a lot of people. A lot of people that want to see me succeed.

Finding these people in my life, (and they needed to be ones I trusted) have been a game changer. I can’t recommend it enough. When the bucket is empty and you just need that bump, Emily, June, and my Coach Elsie are the first ones to help fill it back up and get me back on the road to achieving my goals.

Social Support Final Thoughts

So that’s really it. The key to my success is other people. My Tribe. After I made that first dive in to fitness, these were the people that kept me going. My only note is that people can do as much damage as they can drive you. I was really lucky that I am almost completely surrounded by positive support. Negative support can draw from the bucket, and you can only take so much before the bucket empties. I was able to cut out most of the negative, and focus on the positive. KNOWING that there is negative people, and learning to push them aside, helped me keep them away from my bucket… so if you want my advice on this, take a long dark look at who and what is holding you back, and figure out how to mitigate their damage to your motivation.

Who is your tribe? Send them some love!

A small slice of the tribe… giving a big old FU to cancer.

Healthy Failures

With huge goals can come massive failure. I need to be prepared to face that.

I really wanted to crack a 20 minute 5k. My first attempt 15 years ago failed. I tried again for this latest race, trained really hard for it. But I failed again.

It upset me a little, to be honest. But I think that is normal to feel upset. I console myself that I still posted a super good time, and held first place in the race for a week before a faster runner knocked me off the top place. For a week, I was the one to beat. It was kinda awesome.

So here is my ponder for this week. On reflection, this is a massive change in my attitude towards failure. My attitude towards everything really.

Generally I have had an all or nothing attitude to goals. My best example is alchohol. I have always had an issue with drinking a little too much. I refuse to accept I have a full blown addiction. But I do tend to dance with it. Over the years I have tried to control, or quit drinking, and always with the same result. I give it up for a few days, then something comes up, where it is justified to have a drink (lets say a really good bottle of wine is opened at a fine dinner, and I want to try it.)

Usually, my brain just switches. “I guess I am drinking again now”

Then I am back to having a few drinks every night, getting drunk a few times, going overboard… saying “I will just have one more night drinking and then start fresh tomorrow”. This is my constant unhealthy relationship with failure. Like a binge dieter. I go all or nothing, on and off, like a light switch.

With athletic stuff you would think it would be different. But it isn’t. When I failed at running a marathon last time, and failed the first time at the sub 20 minute 5k… that lead to me giving up on running. It was a slow decline. It started with not booking any more races, then cutting my training back, then not training at all for weeks, then back to the on again off again attitude to working out…. all or nothing, does not always look like all or nothing… but the results are the same.

As has become super obvious to me throughout this life changing experience, mental attitude is the key to my change. I need to change my mind to change my life. Luckily I was armed with some cool tools from back in my writer days with Dr. Bill Winnogran at S4Potential. He was an expert in Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy, an offshoot of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT). I am not gonna try to explain the whole deal with you here, if you want to learn more about REBT you can start here. https://www.psycom.net/rebt/

Basically. You can change your own mind by changing what you think, or believe about a situation. This in turn will change your feelings and reaction to the situation. In the past I might think

“Well, I failed at it, obviously I am not able to do it.”

This would lead to me not feeling it was worth trying again. This would take me down the path of a negative attitude towards things, and abandonment of my goals. Realization of this becomes a catalyst for change.

I am in the middle of a 60 day challenge to overhaul my eating habits right now. Part of that challenge is a weekly reflection. This week was about altering our ‘all-or-nothing’ patterns and attitudes towards nutrition by learning to deal with falling off the rails. It is a very simple version of using rationalization to alter attitude, and this pushed me to go head to head with my all or nothing attitude with drinking.

I had tried to begin building a more healthy relationship with alcohol in the last year. Starting with 6 months without any drinks, followed by small amounts one evening each month. I was pretty successful at first. Until the big trigger. My birthday. I slipped, had too many drinks, and it took me a couple days for my body to feel good again. This quickly turned in to having drinks again the next week, “I guess I am not able to quit or control this” which led to a whole weekend with drinks… and… luckily this pattern was interrupted by a health challenge, where I needed to quit drinking for 60 days.

This brings me to the exercise. Lets take a look at my last Saturday evening where I decided to drink a few drinks before diving in to the next challenge.

What was the absolute WORST choice for me in this situation?

Simple. Get hammered. Black out drunk. Let this deep dive you back to the standard 5 drinks a night routine I used to have before I decided to fix my health.

What is the BEST choice?

Not drink at all, but not just because of a challenge or ‘trying to quit’. Not drinking because you literally don’t want to, and have no reason to drink.

Now, think about the choice you’ve made. Think about where it fits in this scale

What did I do? I had about 1 or 2 too many drinks. Enough to feel it the next day, but not enough to push me off the rails. For these purposes, that was 3 low carb 4.5% mixed drinks, and a glass of white wine. So about 4 to 5 standard servings. I would say this was just on the edge of bad, not the worst possible, but not really on the good side. I would have been better served having 2 to 3 drinks. My body could have absorbed it better, and I would have felt better. It also could have been worse. I could have just said screw it and made myself feel better the next day by having more drinks.

So, in the grand scheme of things. This wasn’t an absolute failure. I am not an absolute failure, and i don’t have to let this moment de-rail me.

This brings me to the REBT thing. This is an opportunity to change my beliefs about this situation. In the past I might have thought:

“I have failed at my goal of controlling my drinking, this spells the end of my efforts and I cannot change.”

Instead. Lets think

“I didn’t do my best, but I also didn’t give up and fail miserably. I am doing great overall, and on the road to great things”

That’s a bit floral, but makes my point.

So, back to the 5k fail. Here is how I would think in the past.

“I failed at my goal, this is the worst”

I can change my way of thinking, and my reaction by simply saying to myself.

“I didn’t get it this time, but I was so close. This just proves I can reach my goal and I am on my way to getting there”

That simple way of thinking. So simple. Leaves me ready and open for the future. Excited to keep trying, and working towards my goals instead of giving up. A healthy failure instead of a destructive one.

So. What have you failed at recently, that could use a bit of re-thinking?

Me.. being happy about failing.

The Spirit of Competition

One of the things that has happened in the last couple months has been something I didn’t expect at all. I became competitive at fitness racing. It is something I never thought would happen.

I am competitive by nature. I gauge skill by accomplishment. I compete with others and myself. I love to see how I rank in a group of people with similar skills. This has always been an issue with board games. My family HATED playing Monopoly with me.. I was a horrible loser, and an even more awful winner. However, this has never been a problem with athletic stuff. I am generally the least fit person in the room… the picked last guy… they called me ‘pilon’ back in gym class… but all that changed. Don’t get me wrong, I am no super athlete. But I am no longer the sloth I was. Sometimes I even rise to the top.

This comes with good, and bad. The good is that from time to time, I can now hit major benchmarks in a workout. The bad.. it brings out the competitive spirit in me. I knew it would happen eventually. I do not want to be a horrible loser or winner or any of that anymore. So it is super important at this point to figure out a way to use that competitive drive to achieve my goals.

So how do I channel this for good, instead of it becoming a negative?

I am starting by asking myself, “what is ‘healthy’ competition vs. unhealthy?”

I think healthy competition should be:

• fun (for myself AND others)

• helps me strive for improvement

• be positively motivating (for myself AND others)

• makes me happy

I think competition has become unhealthy when:

• I am frustrated

• I constantly look at it as a ‘win’ or ‘loss’

• I ruin the fun for others

• Injures me or holds me back

I think there is room for healthy competition in any activity. In fact, it can be a really great motivator for me. But, how do I stop it from becoming a negative?

Here is what I have come up with. I personally think it comes down to respect. Respect for the process. Respect for other people and respect for the future you.

Respect the process

First thing, and this is counter intuitive. Don’t try to win.

When I think in an all or nothing, like, “I want to win”. I set myself up for failure. Sport is a funny thing, it is a bit of a roulette wheel. Somedays are awesome, and I have it in me to push myself further than ever. My nutrition and rest is on point. I feel great. Somedays, it is the guy next to me that feels that way.

When I look at the guy next to me and think “I want to beat that guy”, this just sets me up for the negative. That guy may not be in any mood to race me. That guy may be an elite lifter who is about to rock me so hard I am doomed to feel substandard. Most importantly, thinking like that is.. well.. just kinda douchey.

Just do MY best. Where I land at the end of the day on that WOD app leaderboard is not a metric to define my personal sense of self worth.

The value as a metric is pretty obvious. It shows me where I need to improve. Skills that need to be practiced. It shows me the people who have mastered those skills, and where I am in the grand scheme of things. It is a really great way to point out my weaknesses so I can work on them.

Knowing that can help me use that competitive spirit to drive to succeed and push harder. Feel good when you have done your best. Feel good for others that are better than you… and that brings me to the next point

Respect for others

Be impressed. Not Stressed.

I work out with incredible athletes each day, at first I thought things lots of folks do. “Man, I wish I was as strong as Mike”, “Ugg… Kayla can lift 300 lbs more than me, I wish I was that gifted” and so on…

This again, set me up to just be upset with myself. But again, I think I can turn that in to a positive. It just took a bit of reorganizing my way of thinking. I have to respect them, and to do that, respect THEIR process.

They all started somewhere. They put in the time. They also look up to people and feel the same things… Even think the same kind of things. They may even feel that way about you sometimes.

So what does that mean? How does that change my mindset?

One of the things I noticed with positive athletes, is that they are constantly impressed with the skills of the person next to them. The person that can lift 600#s will look at the guy that can do walking handstands and be impressed! They will be like “Oh man!! You are so good at that.”

…and then something awesome happens… they ask for advice! “How do you keep your legs so straight up n the air like that?” They see a skill that another person brings to the table and they think it is awesome.. then they learn from it.

The thing I love about this is that we all can learn from other folks. Everyone has a skill to teach, and if you take the time to see the positive… you can pick up those skills and tips from the people around you. That drive to win becomes a drive to learn.

Respect the future you

At the end of the day. It changes nothing.

Competition is not the goal. Lifelong health is. If I lose myself in winning, I may lose everything.

I cannot let my competitive drive push me to pain, or make it so I cannot perform tomorrow. This kinda goes hand in hand with respecting the process. This is a long game I am involved in. If I want to get as fit as I can and reach my goals, I have to be able to be consistent.

This means, avoiding injury. Avoiding exhaustion, and avoiding losing friends in training partners. So although a bit of healthy competition is great to drive us forward… you need to know when to pull back. I am not here to ‘win’ the workout. I am here to become the goals I want to reach.

Final thoughts

Sometimes it is fine to bet a bottle of wine that you will be able to do a muscle up first. That kinda healthy competition can help motivate a personal best. It already has. Sometime it pays to look at that incredible athlete next to you and ask them “How did you do that? That was amazing” You might learn something.

Sometimes. You just need to show up. Have fun and smile.

Setting up to sweat

An ode to "Natural Talent"

When I was a kid, grade 8. They took us all to the track at the high school and had us do a bunch of different exercises to help us figure out if we would be good at sports. It was then that I discovered I was 'not athletic'. I ran on the track to the chants of "Run, fatboy, run" I sat on the grass and tried to accept the fact that some people got a gift. Others didn't.

20 years later. I met June Veenstra. My love, My partner, and my first coach. She loved to run, and as boyfriends who are trying to impress do, I ran with her. It sucked. I was terrible at it. It hurt. I hurt.

But something happened over time. I got faster. I got fitter. I got REALLY fast. I raced, I kept getting faster. I kept up with athletes. Real Athletes. I had no reason to be there. I was just a fat kid who was pretending.

My secret super power. In my head I chant "Run, Fatboy Run". I chant it every time my body tells me I can't run. It makes me mad. I hulk out. I run faster. Screw them.

Life, time on the road, loss of focus got to me. I stopped running. Again, remember, I am not athletic. I don't have natural gifts... so ...

The rest of the story you know. I gained weight, got cancer, slapped myself and got back to work getting healthy. I went to the gym, I made commitments and I made changes. Today. Today I am back to 180lbs, which has always been an optimal weight for me. I can run fast at this weight, I can maintain it without being on insane diets. My knees and back don't feel pain. I clocked a 24 minute 5k last week. I am not gonna lie. I cried. This was a huge deal to me, I learned I was way stronger than ever.

But I learned one more thing. I am an athlete. I am. The problem is that I thought it came naturally. I thought that if I was meant to do handstands and run fast and lift heavy objects I needed some gift. You don't. You need hours. Hours and hours of determined, back breaking work. Control over the things you can control like diet, exercise, sleep, stress. Apply stress over and over and the body adapts.

In the last month a weird thing has happened. People keep referring to me as "Athlete" , My coach refers to me as "One of her athletes". I shake my head. I am not athletic. I am not deserving of the title 'Athlete" I am just a fat kid, struggling.

Or am I?

Here is the truth. I'll lay it out for you. This is all a choice.

I always envied those kids that could play sports. I thought I was incapable. Turns out. I am capable. I just didn't know it. Not because people don't tell you that. Plenty of people told me that it took work. But I chose to avoid the work. My friend Kayla Kirkness put it best today. "It isn't always an easy road, and it takes mental strength and discipline" "The Truth might not be sexy or appealing, but it's important"

It takes a village. I have an awesome team that supports me. A wicked good coach to guide me, friends that cheer me on. These folks are awesome.

I have a few regrets. The biggest one is, I wish I had done this earlier. I wish I had started running the day those kids told me I couldn't. I told myself I wasn't gifted. I wish I hadn't listened to myself.

Because. It took me 43 odd years to fully realize. Talent doesn't exist. Skill must be earned. You gotta put in the hours and pay for it. Understanding this changes everything.

You don't have to be anything you don't want to be. But if you wish you could, don't let your brain, or mean kids, be the limitation. Run, all you little fat boys. Run.

Between The Bumpers

Elsie Jahn

Sam Sabourin

#projectthor

On Recovery

On Recovery:

Gonna start by thanking everyone for the overwhelming love and positive messages I have received this week. THANK YOU ALL!!

It has been a week of recovery for me, which is odd after moving forward non stop for the last 6 months. Elsie has reminded me how important recovery is. So I thought I would try to explain my whole approach to making this monster change in myself.

My focus from the beginning has been not on impact but recovery. This is the difference maker. I noticed that when people go from couch to trying to get fit they tend to focus on "How many calories I can burn", "Days in the gym", Miles walked per day" or "program acheived." I was kinda guilty of this my first few months, and I spent most of my time pissed off and jumping from one minor injury to another. Looking for the miracle cream that would fix whatever muscle pain came up today.

Then i heard an interview with a high level athlete. I wish I knew who it was, or remembered the quote. She talked about how her job was to do what the coaches said, and then focus all their attention on recovering so they could do it again tomorrow. That stuck with me.

It changed how I train. I put my focus and effort each day in to making sure everything I do is centred around being able to complete my fitness regime tomorrow. This means eating right, supplements and nutrition focused on keeping inflammation down. Stretching and remedial work on mobility EVERY day for at least 30 minutes. If I find a stretch or an exercise that works I fold it in to an evening routine June and I run through every night before bed. Finally, sleep, I am super focused on trying to get a full 8 hours every night, and doing all I can to make that happen.

Focusing on recovery has a secondary effect. It means you have laser focus on keeping healthy. It makes it way easier to avoid a nice evening cocktail, or the bag of chips, because I KNOW for a fact I will feel that tomorrow, and tomorrow is the most important day of my life. It is harder to skip your workout because you put a lot of work in to being ready for it, and even more importantly, you feel good, so there is no excuse to skip it!

So although this week has been rough, not getting to really work up a big sweat, panicking a little that I am losing some fitness, Feeling my routine getting jacked up, all those things we do when a gym rat is away from the gym... I know that recovery from the beating my body took last Saturday is the key difference maker!

It may not work for everyone, but it has worked for me! Thanks for reading this weeks rambling thoughts ala Will.

Awesome photo courtesy of Sue Jones!

Rat Pack Performance

Between The Bumpers

After the Marathon

Attitude

This post from one of my coaches at Between The Bumpers rang really true to me today. This attitude issue has dogged me my whole life. I had to share it with you all. As per usual, it helps me to write out my thoughts, so... long post to follow.

https://betweenthebumpers.com/training-mentality/

I am kinda an all or nothing guy, I have a huge issue with focusing on multiple things.. so my attitude goes to crap and I tend to push off a task, and focus on the one that makes me happier. Ignoring. loathing or putting aside whatever caught my eye a month or two before... It is why I can play 5 or so instruments, with mediocre skill, but haven't picked up any of them in years. It is why two paintings sit half finished on my easel. It is why I stopped running for 10 years and let my health fall apart. I stop thinking about how much I love something, and let the negative 'have to' fill my head. When the going gets tough, I look for a new path instead of focusing on the path in front of me.

The worst part is, I drag others down with it. Negative attitude can be like a plague. If you grumble about how awful band practice is all the time, eventually, the rest of the band will start to grumble about it. Eventually the band will skip practice because it is so horrible... eventually the band breaks up.

I got caught out on this a couple days ago. I showed up to the gym after looking at the workout, it looked hard, I grumbled about how hard it was, I wasn't looking forward to it. The people on either side of me agreed and were pulled down by my attitude. Luckily, Sam outsmarted me. He called it out. (yeah buddy.. I got you.. you were right.)

Cuz here is the reality. This lifestyle I chose right now isn't easy. It is REALLY hard to juggle a full time job, a home life, a social life and 3 hours of focused health management in a day. Some days you just feel like putting one of the balls down and focusing on the easier task of juggling less. So you put all your frustration in to that one hard to juggle thing. You grumble and look at it through different eyes. But... eventually, if you drop the ball enough times, it rolls under the couch and you forget to pick it back up.

So it is time for a reminder of where we are. Why juggling is so important.

First. I chose this. I want this. I have never been so close to reaching the unaccomplished. I have never been so close to being a real honest to goodness athletic person. I don't just 'get' to go to the gym and work out, I WANT THIS. It is the greatest and most awesome thing I have ever done for myself. It is 100% selfish. It is my choice. Stop bitching about it. Look at how far you have come, and how easily all that slips away if you look away. This is just for you, and yet SO many people have put time and effort in to it with you. You have the focus and attention of not 1 but 3 coaches, a squad of cheerleaders, a super supportive partner, and a team of medical people who are all taking time out of their day to support you... stop grumbling.

Second. I must stay rooted in my motivations. 1 year ago I was prepping for big scary surgeries. Warnings of things like 'high blood pressure' and reading pamphlets about how to mentally deal with cancer. I made these choices because I survived, and I have one chance. One shot to change my life, and be that guy I always wished I could be. Both mentally and physically. Does that guy waste time grumbling? HELL NO. That guy puts on a huge smile and feels AWESOME that he is still alive and killing it. STOP GRUMBLING.

Third. This group of badasses that I get to hang out with daily at the gym, run club and as part of my Rat Pack, are epic, and I am proud to call them friends. They supported me and cheered me on during the darkest of times... and I will not be the one responsible for bringing them down. I will cheer them on and motivate them to keep being awesome. I will not be the rotten apple that brings them down. (Ps. Stop grumbling)

WRAAAAAHH!!! #projectthor Continues folks. You will not believe what a great job Elsie Jahn has done here... You wanna get super ripped and in shape? Find a coach you believe in and pour your trust in to them.. stop the complaining, and get to the doing. If your health is that important to you? Why are you wishing, instead of doing. Why are you thinking "Someday I have to" and not thinking... "Today... I get to!"

Anyway. Worthy of a read, and thanks Sam for hitting me with this at exactly the time I needed to hear it.

Jason and I day 1. Super bad attitude!