Nothing in this life can ever happen without support.
This week I wanted to really focus down on the key to all my success this last year. Motivation is not a limitless resource, even if your motivation is HUGE! I have been asked a lot lately “How do you do it? How do you stay motivated and on track?” Well. Here it is.
Beginning the Journey
The Time Was Right
After a million failures to launch, I learned one thing this year that was the key to ACTUALLY getting started in fitness. The time was right. You need to be in the right mindset. I looked in the mirror and I actually wanted to change. It was the first time my inner monologue wasn’t just, “Tomorrow I need to change” and it became; “I need to stop and change this now”. We all have those key moments of change. The key was, for once, I captured that lightning in a bottle and made it happen.
Motivation is not endless
It has taken a lifetime for my slow brain to understand this simple concept. I am motivated now, but I might not be motivated tomorrow. Motivation is like a fluid in a bucket. You can draw from that bucket, but if you never refill it, it will eventually empty and you will be stuck scraping the bottom. You need to manage motivation like any other limited resource. Stock it up when you can, draw from it like it is precious. I needed to learn how to fill the bucket back up! That’s where I was failing.
How to stay motivated
Social support is the key to my success. People help keep your bucket full. There are pros and cons for involving other people in your journey. The good news is that the Pros GREATLY outweigh the cons
Finding your Tribe
I got super lucky, I already had a huge amount of support in my close family and friends. My partner June is a huge proponent of my journey, an amazing cheerleader, and is the first one to remind me that it is time for my protein shake, or that I need to get out of bed and get my warm up done. She does my mobility routine with me every night, and together we fight through the hard times to stay on track
Add in a huge collection of friends who cheer me on daily, and I get a ton of easy to access social support. This was calculated, and I made sure I had those people early on. Here is how I did it. Feel free to steal it to build your own tribe.
Social Media
This works for me, I don’t know if it will work for you, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth trying. Announce your intentions on your social media of choice. Announce your goals and let the world know you are trying to change. Post regular updates. At first it may seem silly, later it may seem like bragging. But there is a reason for it. We will get to that in a sec. Lets look at the bad side of what I did.
There are some cons to this. You get a few people telling you things like:
“You are beautiful the way you are! Don’t change”
”You are getting so skinny! Be careful!”
This is the pitfall. Keep in mind one thing, they think they are being helpful. Often these comments will feel cruel, or counter to your goals. When I get these they often make me question if I really needed to get this deep in to fitness? Am I going too far?? It is super important to push these thoughts aside and not let them bring you down or slow your progress. There is nothing here that fills the bucket. It comes from a place of love, and in some cases perhaps I need to be reminded to continue with caution… but these are also SUPER rare. In most cases, instead of being upset by them, let them remind you that they come from a good place, and don’t let them affect you
MOST of your friends and family will say things like “Hell yeah! I am so proud of you!”, “GO WILL!!” and other things. It seems simple, but just those statements of encouragement trickle motivation back in the bucket. This is simple and pure motivation.
I focus on the cheering squad, and the accountability social media can bring. If your goal is to lose 70 pounds and you are public, it is kinda amazing how people will cheer you on. Cheering fills the bucket! Each little bit is something you didn’t have yesterday.
The side benefit is accountability. People who you are accountable to can keep you on track. Lot’s of people knowing about your goals means a LOT of people you are accountable to.
The WOD squad
I found an incredible group of likeminded people at the gym. Before the pandemic, we would schedule our workouts around each others schedule, carpool, and make sure we busted each others balls if one of us didn’t show up. As lockdowns happened, we continued cheering each other on in messenger groups, posting our accomplishments, and giving each other tips and advice as we ran in to issues. My squad has become an extended group of tight knit friends that work together to make sure that everyone has the encouragement they need to succeed, and I couldn’t do it without them.
Home
I will re-state it, I couldn’t have done any of this without the support of my partner. Without support at home, I just don’t think there is any way to succeed. If anyone is reading this and you don’t have that, it is time to sit down with your family, or significant other and have an open conversation about reaching your goals together.
June has given up a lot to help me, she doesn’t drink on weeknights, so that I am not tempted. Helps focus on scheduling healthy meals (it helps that I do the cooking around here) and hits the gym herself!
She is my first and biggest cheerleader, and is the first one to make sure I don’t go too far. When I am flagging, she pushes me to get back at it, and I do the same for her. I can’t thank her enough.
Coaches
There is one other awesome, and easy to find, support ANYONE can get. A coach.
I used to think that hiring a personal trainer was completely out of reach. I was at the gym one day and thought… can’t hurt to ask… and it turned out the price of personal training really wasn’t that bad. I used to spend more at the LCBO per month. I kept in mind it was an investment in my lifespan and health and dove in. I decided to give it a try for a month to see if it was worth it.
That month, in just a few short days of focused personal training, my coach put my nutrition on point, I lost 10 pounds within that time. I was able to climb a rope, improve on every OLY lift, and every aspect of my strength and ability improved by a massive margin over just going to group classes. It was worth every penny. I was sold, and now personal training is a huge part of my journey.
It is really important to note, choosing a coach is like choosing a long term friend or partner. I got really lucky that my coach and I have become friends, and communicate constantly. I am accountable to them, and they keep pushing me daily to improve. What I am saying is, choose your coach wisely. Like any person in your life, some will be a good fit, others will not. Take your time in this choice. If you like a coaches style in class, and if you get along with them at the gym, there is a good chance they will also make a great personal trainer.
The side benefit… you get the ultimate accountability partner!!
Accountability Partner
My definition of an accountability partner is someone specifically chosen to be your go-to person for your goals. Someone you can be open with about your wins and fails. I found it best that this person is not my spouse, as sometimes they can be the problem, and you need someone to talk that hurdle through with. (Sorry June..)
My friend Emily took me on as an accountability partner early on. We check in with each other weekly, and see how each other are doing on our goals. We cheer each others success, and badger each other if we are falling behind. Em has been a lifesaver in those hard times. Add in my group accountability from social media, accountability to my coach, backed up by the dollars spent on fees, and my WOD squad and I am now accountable to a lot of people. A lot of people that want to see me succeed.
Finding these people in my life, (and they needed to be ones I trusted) have been a game changer. I can’t recommend it enough. When the bucket is empty and you just need that bump, Emily, June, and my Coach Elsie are the first ones to help fill it back up and get me back on the road to achieving my goals.
Social Support Final Thoughts
So that’s really it. The key to my success is other people. My Tribe. After I made that first dive in to fitness, these were the people that kept me going. My only note is that people can do as much damage as they can drive you. I was really lucky that I am almost completely surrounded by positive support. Negative support can draw from the bucket, and you can only take so much before the bucket empties. I was able to cut out most of the negative, and focus on the positive. KNOWING that there is negative people, and learning to push them aside, helped me keep them away from my bucket… so if you want my advice on this, take a long dark look at who and what is holding you back, and figure out how to mitigate their damage to your motivation.
Who is your tribe? Send them some love!
A small slice of the tribe… giving a big old FU to cancer.