When I was a kid, grade 8. They took us all to the track at the high school and had us do a bunch of different exercises to help us figure out if we would be good at sports. It was then that I discovered I was 'not athletic'. I ran on the track to the chants of "Run, fatboy, run" I sat on the grass and tried to accept the fact that some people got a gift. Others didn't.
20 years later. I met June Veenstra. My love, My partner, and my first coach. She loved to run, and as boyfriends who are trying to impress do, I ran with her. It sucked. I was terrible at it. It hurt. I hurt.
But something happened over time. I got faster. I got fitter. I got REALLY fast. I raced, I kept getting faster. I kept up with athletes. Real Athletes. I had no reason to be there. I was just a fat kid who was pretending.
My secret super power. In my head I chant "Run, Fatboy Run". I chant it every time my body tells me I can't run. It makes me mad. I hulk out. I run faster. Screw them.
Life, time on the road, loss of focus got to me. I stopped running. Again, remember, I am not athletic. I don't have natural gifts... so ...
The rest of the story you know. I gained weight, got cancer, slapped myself and got back to work getting healthy. I went to the gym, I made commitments and I made changes. Today. Today I am back to 180lbs, which has always been an optimal weight for me. I can run fast at this weight, I can maintain it without being on insane diets. My knees and back don't feel pain. I clocked a 24 minute 5k last week. I am not gonna lie. I cried. This was a huge deal to me, I learned I was way stronger than ever.
But I learned one more thing. I am an athlete. I am. The problem is that I thought it came naturally. I thought that if I was meant to do handstands and run fast and lift heavy objects I needed some gift. You don't. You need hours. Hours and hours of determined, back breaking work. Control over the things you can control like diet, exercise, sleep, stress. Apply stress over and over and the body adapts.
In the last month a weird thing has happened. People keep referring to me as "Athlete" , My coach refers to me as "One of her athletes". I shake my head. I am not athletic. I am not deserving of the title 'Athlete" I am just a fat kid, struggling.
Or am I?
Here is the truth. I'll lay it out for you. This is all a choice.
I always envied those kids that could play sports. I thought I was incapable. Turns out. I am capable. I just didn't know it. Not because people don't tell you that. Plenty of people told me that it took work. But I chose to avoid the work. My friend Kayla Kirkness put it best today. "It isn't always an easy road, and it takes mental strength and discipline" "The Truth might not be sexy or appealing, but it's important"
It takes a village. I have an awesome team that supports me. A wicked good coach to guide me, friends that cheer me on. These folks are awesome.
I have a few regrets. The biggest one is, I wish I had done this earlier. I wish I had started running the day those kids told me I couldn't. I told myself I wasn't gifted. I wish I hadn't listened to myself.
Because. It took me 43 odd years to fully realize. Talent doesn't exist. Skill must be earned. You gotta put in the hours and pay for it. Understanding this changes everything.
You don't have to be anything you don't want to be. But if you wish you could, don't let your brain, or mean kids, be the limitation. Run, all you little fat boys. Run.
