One of the things that has happened in the last couple months has been something I didn’t expect at all. I became competitive at fitness racing. It is something I never thought would happen.
I am competitive by nature. I gauge skill by accomplishment. I compete with others and myself. I love to see how I rank in a group of people with similar skills. This has always been an issue with board games. My family HATED playing Monopoly with me.. I was a horrible loser, and an even more awful winner. However, this has never been a problem with athletic stuff. I am generally the least fit person in the room… the picked last guy… they called me ‘pilon’ back in gym class… but all that changed. Don’t get me wrong, I am no super athlete. But I am no longer the sloth I was. Sometimes I even rise to the top.
This comes with good, and bad. The good is that from time to time, I can now hit major benchmarks in a workout. The bad.. it brings out the competitive spirit in me. I knew it would happen eventually. I do not want to be a horrible loser or winner or any of that anymore. So it is super important at this point to figure out a way to use that competitive drive to achieve my goals.
So how do I channel this for good, instead of it becoming a negative?
I am starting by asking myself, “what is ‘healthy’ competition vs. unhealthy?”
I think healthy competition should be:
fun (for myself AND others)
helps me strive for improvement
be positively motivating (for myself AND others)
makes me happy
I think competition has become unhealthy when:
I am frustrated
I constantly look at it as a ‘win’ or ‘loss’
I ruin the fun for others
Injures me or holds me back
I think there is room for healthy competition in any activity. In fact, it can be a really great motivator for me. But, how do I stop it from becoming a negative?
Here is what I have come up with. I personally think it comes down to respect. Respect for the process. Respect for other people and respect for the future you.
Respect the process
First thing, and this is counter intuitive. Don’t try to win.
When I think in an all or nothing, like, “I want to win”. I set myself up for failure. Sport is a funny thing, it is a bit of a roulette wheel. Somedays are awesome, and I have it in me to push myself further than ever. My nutrition and rest is on point. I feel great. Somedays, it is the guy next to me that feels that way.
When I look at the guy next to me and think “I want to beat that guy”, this just sets me up for the negative. That guy may not be in any mood to race me. That guy may be an elite lifter who is about to rock me so hard I am doomed to feel substandard. Most importantly, thinking like that is.. well.. just kinda douchey.
Just do MY best. Where I land at the end of the day on that WOD app leaderboard is not a metric to define my personal sense of self worth.
The value as a metric is pretty obvious. It shows me where I need to improve. Skills that need to be practiced. It shows me the people who have mastered those skills, and where I am in the grand scheme of things. It is a really great way to point out my weaknesses so I can work on them.
Knowing that can help me use that competitive spirit to drive to succeed and push harder. Feel good when you have done your best. Feel good for others that are better than you… and that brings me to the next point
Respect for others
Be impressed. Not Stressed.
I work out with incredible athletes each day, at first I thought things lots of folks do. “Man, I wish I was as strong as Mike”, “Ugg… Kayla can lift 300 lbs more than me, I wish I was that gifted” and so on…
This again, set me up to just be upset with myself. But again, I think I can turn that in to a positive. It just took a bit of reorganizing my way of thinking. I have to respect them, and to do that, respect THEIR process.
They all started somewhere. They put in the time. They also look up to people and feel the same things… Even think the same kind of things. They may even feel that way about you sometimes.
So what does that mean? How does that change my mindset?
One of the things I noticed with positive athletes, is that they are constantly impressed with the skills of the person next to them. The person that can lift 600#s will look at the guy that can do walking handstands and be impressed! They will be like “Oh man!! You are so good at that.”
…and then something awesome happens… they ask for advice! “How do you keep your legs so straight up n the air like that?” They see a skill that another person brings to the table and they think it is awesome.. then they learn from it.
The thing I love about this is that we all can learn from other folks. Everyone has a skill to teach, and if you take the time to see the positive… you can pick up those skills and tips from the people around you. That drive to win becomes a drive to learn.
Respect the future you
At the end of the day. It changes nothing.
Competition is not the goal. Lifelong health is. If I lose myself in winning, I may lose everything.
I cannot let my competitive drive push me to pain, or make it so I cannot perform tomorrow. This kinda goes hand in hand with respecting the process. This is a long game I am involved in. If I want to get as fit as I can and reach my goals, I have to be able to be consistent.
This means, avoiding injury. Avoiding exhaustion, and avoiding losing friends in training partners. So although a bit of healthy competition is great to drive us forward… you need to know when to pull back. I am not here to ‘win’ the workout. I am here to become the goals I want to reach.
Final thoughts
Sometimes it is fine to bet a bottle of wine that you will be able to do a muscle up first. That kinda healthy competition can help motivate a personal best. It already has. Sometime it pays to look at that incredible athlete next to you and ask them “How did you do that? That was amazing” You might learn something.
Sometimes. You just need to show up. Have fun and smile.
Setting up to sweat